“Self Talk” seems to be a very deep topic to be discussed or thought about the moment someone walks on stage and says that you should know about what Self-Talk is and how important it is in your life.
There is a possibility that some people might not have felt the requirement of having a great talk with themselves anytime in their life. But I think, there are so many people right now in this world, who need to talk to themselves, they so need it to help themselves, to get them out of the rut, to guide them to where they want to go and to help them be in the present moment.
Self talk is very important and I have realized it with time that the best and honest talk that you can ever have is with “yourself”. I am very sure that we will never lie to ourselves because our heart knows it all. When we talk to ourselves, we for sure have the question-answer session and that is the session which guides our way out of the chaos and the worries we have in life.
We might not be honest in the first time or maybe second too. But we will be honest in the third round and that too completely & brutally honest and that is where all our answers exist.
So let’s get into some of the ways that we can talk to ourselves and things we should keep in mind when we have a conversation with ourselves because I am pretty sure there are so many of you who want to talk to yourself to know better about who you are and what you want but don’t know how to begin or go about it.
So let me help you with it.. 🙂
I have listed four ways that have helped me a lot and I believe that they will be helpful for you too.
1.You can always start with writing
When you feel upset or overwhelmed about something or some situation and you have nobody to talk about it or share with, the best you can do is write..!!
Write whatever you feel like sharing on a piece of paper or notebook or a diary. The choice is yours, but you need to start it off, to help yourself feel better and light within. Writing has helped a lot of people all around the globe. They have found answers to their awaited questions, they have got direction in lives and great support or rather a best friend in the form of their journals or diaries.
Writing has helped me a lot too. I believe in journaling my thoughts either in the night or in the morning, but it is there in my routine. It has helped me in terms of removing the burden off my sleeves and getting clarity when I felt stuck or lost on my way to my dreams.
Meditation is another way you can talk to yourself. It is really helpful when you want to know yourself better and attain peace.
A lot of people practice meditation before going to sleep or in the morning, as it helps you to calm down and be in the present moment. Now calming yourself down and being aware of your present moment helps you to know yourself better, as one by one all your questions are being answered in that presence.
You can always get to know and talk to your inner self when you are in a meditative state, as in that state you are calm and clear. You know your questions very well and in that presence and peace, your inner self knows the exact answers to all your questions. Hence, the problem is solved.
You can meditate at any time of the day, but preferably it is considered at the time before you sleep or when you wake up because that is the time when your surroundings are peaceful. However, it is your call when to practice meditation and add it to your routine. I am sure it will help you a lot in many areas of your personal and professional lives.
3.Looking in the mirror and talking to yourself
Whenever you are too nervous or not so confident about yourself, you should definitely go for this option and it will help you in a miraculous way..!!
You just have to walk up to the mirror and look at yourself, look into your eyes and ask yourself- “What is wrong..??”, “Why am I so upset or nervous..?? Your inner self will have an answer for you and you just have to speak it out to yourself. Now here I don’t mean that you have to talk it out loud. You just have to softly tell yourself that it is ok to be nervous or not feel good about yourself and that everything is OK. You need to tell yourself that you are beautiful or handsome and you are strong enough to face the world..!!
You need to talk yourself out of the negative self talk that is going within and convert the entire negative self talk to the positive narratives and be very confident when you look into your eyes and assure yourself what you believe. Practice this daily, twice, thrice or the nth number of times, that is your choice, but you need to practice and in no time you will see the difference.
4.Sit at a quiet place for some time and talk to yourself
Considering this point, I don’t mean sit at some random quiet place which is not safe at all but even then you go there and sit because you really need to talk to yourself. No, Not At All..!!
The quiet place can be your bedroom (Anytime), or any place at your home or office or where you feel comfortable and there is not much noise. A place where you can listen to your inner self.
You just need to sit down, take a few deep breaths and do nothing. Just sit with your eyes open or closed (your choice) and listen to your inner self. Talk to yourself within, ask questions, talk like you talk to your bestie and think for some time about your whys or what.. And you will get an answer to all your issues.
Now since we know how to talk to ourselves, we should also be careful of “how are we talking to ourselves”. Is it positive or negative, are we being too hard on ourselves or are we being too ignorant. We need to know how the conversation goes in order to have the best of what we want from our self.
Here are “5 tips” to consider when you have that special conversation with yourself:
- Be observant of what you say to yourself and of your thoughts, as your thoughts or the words you use are very important.
- Always remember what you think or say, you attract.
- Find a positive narrative for every negative narrative you have for yourself or you have been playing in your mind from a very long time.
- Consider self talk like a very important task as it has a big impact on how you feel and what you do towards your decisions or your personal life.
- Be crystal clear and honest when you talk to yourself and only then you will get the exact answer that is in your favor and for your good.
There are times in our life when we are very upset about what is going on in our surroundings, or when our loved ones hurt us, or when we get disturbed by the things not falling in our favor. That is when we either blame ourselves or fight or blame others for that matter.
We become very agitated and negative and at that time we lose the power to think rationally and end up doing what we might regret later.
Hence, when you face certain situations, take a break for a moment and ask some questions to yourself which might change your perspective that you had for those situations which made you angry at some time.
Let me list some questions which will help you to think once before you take a step towards regret.
1.How can I change this situation..?
There are times when things don’t fall in place according to what we wanted. Hence, the situation worsens and we might get hurt or the others around us. At that time instead of reacting immediately, always ask yourself what you can do to change this situation and make it right or better.
Because what is done is done, we cannot change it now, but we surely can improvise it.
2.What can I provide to this world..?
A lot of people have a lot of expectations from this world even when they haven’t done enough for the wellbeing of the people on the globe and think that if I get something from the world which acts in my favor, I will for sure contribute.
They have this question that “What has this world given to me that I should contribute…?” But you know what, this is a very negative thinking. Expecting something when you have contributed nothing from your end makes no sense.
Also, even if you have contributed or given whatever you had or you could do, never expect. Expectations hurt you the most. When you give, give it with all your love and great wishes and never expect anything in return, that is when your contribution is genuine because some things are not made for give and take.
3.Do I need to do this..?
Many times we are confronted with circumstances wherein the decisions to be taken are really difficult and especially when we are angry we take steps out of anger which was not required or could have hurt someone.
Hence, in those circumstances, you should always control yourself and hold for a moment and ask yourself if you really need to do what you were going to do and act according to what your heart says because that is when you won’t go wrong.
4.Was the argument required..? Was I right or not..?
Generally when we fight with the people we compete with or compare ourselves with we tend to prove ourselves right through an argument or any other way possible. However this has never been considered as a good gesture, especially when a person knows himself or herself very well, because if a person knows himself/ herself they know when they are right and when they are wrong even if it is in front of their competitors.
The people who know their strengths and weakness very well and have the clarity that a human beings do make mistakes and can be wrong at times do not get into heated arguments to prove themselves right.
Sometimes being wrong is not incorrect, It is OK to be wrong at times because you get to learn through your mistakes or incorrect decisions. It is a lesson for you and not something to pull you down or break you which will help you climb a ladder in future.
5.Have I said something to myself today which has led me to the current situation..?
Sometimes you might be having a bad day or you might not feel energetic or very confident to work that day and all the things you had planned are not falling into the brackets that you had expected.
Take a moment and ask yourself what conversation did you have with yourself this morning or the night before, what did you say to yourself or what thoughts you had in your mind this morning which made you feel so drained and not confident at all. As what you think or say you receive.
Hence, when you realize the root cause of your present emotions or the reason that why you feel so low, immediately have a positive talk with yourself and let yourself know that it is fine and you are still the best. That you love what you do and you gotta do it in the best way possible. This way your mood and your day, both will be converted into something great and amazing.
6.Do I love what I do..?
Whenever you feel drained while you are working and you just don’t want to continue doing what you want to do and you just hate going to work. Stop..!! Stop for a moment and ask yourself- do I really want to do this..?? ; do I actually love what I do..?? ; should I go ahead with it or not..?
When you get the answers to these questions or any other question that you want to ask yourself at that time, take the decision accordingly and act on it.
Never ever force yourself into something which you never wanted to do or don’t want to do at all. Always do what you love and you will forever excel in that field.
These were some questions that can help you through your conversations with yourself and similarly there are many more which can lead you to the answer you always needed. You just need to ask and talk it out with yourself and there you are with the solution. 🙂
So this was my take on how important self talk is in your day to day life and you should have a healthy conversation with yourself on a daily basis to lead a life of clarity and peace which will automatically result in happiness and positivity in your life.
I hope this article will be of great help to you.
Thank you for reading. 🙂
Lots of love and care.