“I have lost and loved and won and cried myself to the person I am today.”
– Charlotte Eriksson
What are “Heartbreaks”..??- Pain, sorrow, suffocation, regrets, disgust, hatred and many more negative feelings which starts penetrating our heart when we are hurt through some situations or by a person we loved so much. Heartbreaks makes us feel unworthy and disgusted with life and that the world is going to end, that nobody on this earth is going to understand how we feel, that no one cares, and everybody is here just to make us feel terrible about the situation and about us.
We dislike everything and everybody around us. We don’t feel like talking or going out with friends or family, we don’t like doing what we love and we just want to sit with ourselves and cry our heart out and sometimes, it is so weird that we are just not able to share it with anyone and trust me guys, this is the worst feeling ever when you just cannot express how you feel.
Heartbreaks are so painful that we can feel the pain physically and at times it feels as if we are going to have a heart attack. And when I write this, I am sure many of you will be able to sail with me in this and feel it deep within you because I think most of us have been through this physical and mental trauma.
I know, I know it so very well how badly it breaks us down and makes us believe that we are no good to this world and that we are so unworthy and not lovable at all, since we need to suffer so much. It seems as if we are standing on the edge of our life where we will never touch happiness, where the smile we had which made our world light up will never ever touch our lips and we will never be able to gear up, get up and move forward in life.
Pain is our morning and tears our good nights..!
But my friends, have we ever looked at ourselves and observed that how far those heartbreaks have got us..??
I don’t think so. We still mourn at it and take it as one of the worst experiences of life and trust me I have been there and had the same belief. But you know what, it is different, it is completely different..! And I also know that this sentence shocks you or makes you think- HOW..??!! And WHY..??!! How could I just say that heartbreaks do have a positive outlook, that it turns us towards the good direction in life?
Yes, heartbreaks are healthy for us. If not all of them, then most of them and I am sure about this. 🙂
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…”
― Nicholas Sparks
Today, let me drive you to the introduction of the stairs that we climb when we experience “Heartbreaks” or “Pain” in life. I am sure these 8 stairs towards your development will give you a different perspective towards pain.
Yes, you read that point right, pain gives us strength..! The strength to bear it, the strength to know that we are able to take it and finally the strength to overcome it and start moving forward in life.
I know pain kills, but it also builds us. It builds the strong personality within you and if you are one already, then to polish you to make you stronger. We don’t realize but with pain, we become strong enough to wake up each morning bearing that pain and get to work with that smile, letting people think that we are “OK”. We have that fake smile on face because we are strong enough to hide the pain that is driving us crazy within.
If we did not have pain in life, we would never be able to realize how strong we are, how capable we are to deal with it and live our lives. We would never be able to recognize our strengths and that we can dust off the pain and move on.
Always remember- “YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE..!!”
Heartbreaks or pain lead us to the path of “Faith”, the faith in the almighty that this too shall pass, the faith in ourselves that we can do it, that we can overcome it and breath fresh again. Faith helps us find the ray of hope in the tornado of pain.
When we come out of our misery, we feel light, we feel fresh and we know that the faith we had, made us who we are today.
Right now, even if you are thinking that, “no, I can never gain faith in my bad times”, I am sorry my friend, you are wrong; because if you did not have even a pinch of faith you would not be reading this article today.
Always remember, no matter how hard it gets, how uneasy it is, have faith.!! Know that you will overcome this and come out even stronger and better than you were. Have faith that whatever is happening, whoever did this to you, is for your own good.
Pain teaches us the quality of acceptance. It teaches us to accept the grief which resides within as acceptance leads us to open our eyes to a new day. The day we accept, that yes, we are hurt, we are in pain and that is OK; half the work is done..! Because once we know that we are in a negative situation and we got to get out of this, we start working towards the positive.
It makes us accept our present situation, it helps us to know that acceptance calms us down and that it is easier to accept the pain than keep fighting with it every moment and fall down exhausted one day and give up.
It is completely fine to accept your pain, to breath it for some time and just roll yourselves into it and cry it out. It is perfectly fine..!! Do justice to every feeling you have in your heart by embracing it to the fullest and then when you come out it, you will for sure know that you are a better and strong person today. 🙂
No matter how hard it is to lead our daily lives with pain, at the end of it we do have a clear picture. The picture of how people could turn out to be or the person we trusted the most, the clarity about ourselves that what hurts us and when and how we should avoid it. It also gives us the clarity about life challenges and that prepares us for a great future ahead.
It is very important to have clarity in life and especially about ourselves, so that we can lead a great, happy and fulfilled life. So, to our surprise, sometimes this clarity is delivered by the pain we suffer in life through some situations or people.
Clarity helps us to get away with doubts, with all “ifs” and “buts” that we have about everything in life. It gives us confidence to be ourselves and work towards our dreams
Sometimes, we need speed breakers in life to stop for a moment and acknowledge that whatever we are heading to, is it right, is that what we want and how we want the outcome to be or do we need to change something or maybe the entire plan or path.
One of those speed breakers in life is- Pain, those heartbreaks that we curse. When we are hurt, when we can’t bear the pain we look up to the situation and think that what did we do which lead us to this pain and that is when we know that there has to be something which is wrong, which is not good for us and for whatever we are heading to. Hence, the realization to improve or to change.
Many times, pain helps us get closer to the almighty, it helps us realize the importance and power of “The One” and we know that to make us the best he can anytime make us or break us and both ways are good for us, as one is love and the other is a lesson. Hence, both ways it is a win-win, though the other one might be painful but the final outcome is always positive.
6. NEW BEGINNINGS
While traveling the journey of life, we become very comfortable with the current situations or the people who are there in our lives and we love them a lot. They matter to us and we care for them.
But, sometimes to reach where we aspire to be, we need to leave our comfort zone and some people who were very important to us at one point in life. That is because change is inevitable, people keep coming and going and not everybody is meant to stay forever with us. We need to keep pace with changes that happen in life or else we lose and just survive this life and not live it to the fullest.
Hence, we learn the qualities of acceptance and letting go.
I do not say that you need to leave every important person in your life, certainly not. But at times the nature demands so and hence, we are helpless.
The pain that we get through these changes, makes us strong so that we can head to the new beginnings in our lives, new opportunities, new people, new situations and new challenges. All this comprises to make us a better human being leading to a better life and you never know, it would turn out to be the best thing in life.
As stated by Oprah in one of the motivational videos that “All of us has the potential to achieve enormous success, but there’s a price which comes with that.”
That price which we have to pay to reach where we want to be, either makes us or breaks us, and we need to make sure that it doesn’t “Break Us’ NO MATTER WHAT..!!
You should know that you have the potential to sail throughout and come out with flying colors.
7. GREAT WORK AND SINCERITY
Pain can act as a fuel for many of us to work harder and with great sincerity. When we face hardships because of our careers, or family situations we know we are in pain, immense pain, but what should click at that immediate point is, how to utilize this pain to turn around the situation.
The successful people in the world have all gone through terrible hardships, but instead of those hardships consuming them, they utilized that pain and anger to become who they are today. They had converted their pain to hard work and sincerity and as a result, we have the examples of great work in this world which we see and take inspiration from.
So utilize the lemons that tough times throw at you because they are actually thrown to make lemonade out of them and enjoy the great drink until the next share is thrown at you. 😉
8. A STEP TOWARDS “YOURSELF”
When we are in pain, we just want to be with ourselves and no one else. We want to cry alone and wrap ourselves with the blanket of pain and absorb the heat till the time we know how to get the temperature down and this gets you closer to yourself..!
At the end of the painful journey, you know who you are, what you want and where do you wish to go and that was the actual lesson that the almighty wanted you to learn when he gave you that pain.
Now that does not state that every pain is there only to direct you towards yourself, it might be for many other reasons, for e.g.: to avoid some situations in life, to become better, to change a decision which could have harmed you and many more reasons. It is just that you have to figure out the lesson that is being taught to you this time.
Since we are at the end of the staircase, I would just want to share with you one of the learnings that I got from my hardships- Never ever let yourself completely fall into the well of pain..!
Whenever you are triggered by hardships or heartbreak you have all the rights to feel it thoroughly, cry your heart out and wrap yourself up in that pain, but not for long. Give yourself sometime and then introspect that what is it that you need to learn from this lesson and do not call it a heartbreak or hardship at that time, cse we will be turning our damaged ship to the harbor to get the damages fixed and for that we need to steer the ship to the harbor and we cannot cry standing there looking at the damages.
Just know that the almighty is either making you strong or driving you to a path that is better for you than what you have chosen right now.
You just need to have faith and be strong and I am very sure my lovely souls that you will come out to be a brighter person thereafter.
Thank you for reading..!
Lots of love and care.